1. |
Coping Mechanism
03:41
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Coping Mechanism
Feelings? I don't know about feelings...
Do you mean I've gotta look inside?
Brushed hands up against the ceiling
Of the inside of my own mind
Feelings? I don't know about feelings...
Does that mean I've gotta look inside?
Thoughts and overwhelming feelings
Colliding right behind my eyes
Do you want me to sing about who I've become?
Just a scared little mess and a son of a gun
Cold strapped to my hip every hour of the day
Is this what it's like to be normal and okay?
Am I okay?
Feelings? I don't know about feelings...
Do you mean I've gotta look inside?
Reeling over all these feelings
A tide washed over my tired eyes
Do you want me to sing about lacking a father?
Or what it was like growing up with my mother?
As tired as she was I saw that she kept walking
So who I've become doesn't stop 'cause I'm
Rocking my heels in the dirt
Is it real if it hurts?
Do I eat the dessert for the toothache?
The love that I claim
The violence and pain
The friends that I've made along the way
The puzzle undone
And the sun
And the gun
And the violence I wrought in the rain
There's no sunshine today
Just blood and shit in the rain
There's no sunshine today
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2. |
Growing Pains
03:32
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Growing Pains
I know that I'm not who I used to be
The kid caught catching backpacks
Seldom camaraderie
But I get stuck in stupid places
Corners of my mind will cave in
I can't help but fear reality
What does it mean?
I know my friends all like me
And my girlfriend knows I'm trying
And just last year I was dying
And then coming back from death
And I'm back and forth with fig and the band
They don't let things get out of hand
Stop me when I need to catch my breath
Am I a mess?
And my van keeps me company
When I find it hard to sleep
[my van is a boat and my boat is a van]
He tells me he'll keep all the secrets
That I want him to keep
[my van is a boat and my boat is a van]
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3. |
Total Eclipse
04:36
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Total Eclipse
I held the sun
You worshipped the moon
I knew it'd come
But it's just too soon
I loved the sun
Until I met the moon
When you are done
Say you'll come back to me soon
I miss you
Every time I see the starlight
I think of how it hits your face
The warm lovely evening is wrong
When you've vanished without a trace
I used to be coated in warm yellow light
Now I'm lost in your night
But I'm cool in the light of your moon
Hey babe <3
I know you're working real hard ;)
With the elves and your deity and all that garbage
I know it sucks to feel at odds with what your faith is
And what you are
You've seen me struggle on and on and on
I've seen you overcome the odds, oh
Time and time again
I know you're proud of who you are I'm so excited
To bury myself in your arms
Once I see you again
[god, what I wouldn't do to just wrap myself back up in your arms, you wouldn't even believe how much I miss you these days! Literally, everything about you, the way we used to talk, the way we used to walk... I really miss the way you used to touch me-] [ok Kristen, that's enough of that] [Oh! um, okay? I guess we got it then?] [No, keep going! I have an idea.]
I MISS YOU
uh oh
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4. |
Family Ties
02:48
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Family Ties
I fucking hate my mum and dad
They tried to kill me and my sister!
What the fuck is up with that?
[tell me about it]
but your mum's just a secretive kisser.
Speaking of, what the fuck was up with Fabian and Aelwyn,
Am I right?
I know- you know I'm not trying to be rude, but come on.
Just how is she anyone's type?
It's honestly gross, and I don't mean that lightly.
I know she's my sister, but she tried to fight me
And honestly? Probably kill me too!
[gasp] god, maybe that's why I'm so blue?
[Hey, can you pass me my meds? Think I'm getting a bit worked up]
Hey did I ever tell anyone about the time
My dad gave me my focus, I knew he was lying
When he told me he wanted me to be great
As if I could cast without losing my faith
And losing my cool, and finding disgrace
My mum was no better, as matter of fact.
She never defended, never cut me slack
she chose to ignore what she said to my face
and here I am left with all their reasons to hate me
there's so many reasons to hate me
[Adaine, listen- you can't think like that, I mean-]
Hey Fig? Look, I know it's a show.
Just a couple of assholes who spat on my goals
And all that I did at the end of the day
Was exist as a child to take out their hate
I know in my conscious mind that I am not wrong
I've been made perfectly in spite of my mom and my dad
And the way that they are
But it makes me so sad?
Like is that all they are?
Do I even need them?
No!
I've come so damn far....
Do I even need them, if that's all that they are?
No, I don't need my mom and dad
Fuck.
Is that so fucking sad?
[Oh, Adaine...]
It makes me fuckin mad
god, it makes me fuckin mad
god, it makes me fuckin sad
But I hate my mom and dad
oh.
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5. |
Come Back
01:43
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Come Back
Faces
See these faces all around me
And I feel like they're staring
But I can't see through their eyes
Traces
Feel these traces of who I was
Who my father wished that he was
Who my father wished that I could ever be
I don't feel good, I feel like yogurt
I don't feel sure, I feel like yogurt
I don't feel strong, I feel like yogurt
I don't feel pure
Wash me clean of everything I used to wanna be
Break me free from all these things I feel inside of me
Let me be the person who I'd wished I'd wanna be
Set me free of this misery
I want...
I want to be sure
I want...
I want to be pure
I want...
I want to be sure
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6. |
The Arsonist
02:20
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The Arsonist
I feel a fire in my guts
So what? I'm crying.
I don't know why I can't shut up
So what? I'm trying
To deny
The way I feel about all of you guys
But when I close my eyes
Deny, deny, deny
Until I die
You'd think I'd do it all so well
[hold on- why is that?]
Since I'm who I am
[and who is that?]
The motherfucking king of Hell
But deep inside I can't deny
My heart is open to the thought
Of being broken all of my life
I feel like I wanna try
Be by your side
Though I am mortal
Though I try
I can't deny
What I feel deep inside my guts
Even if this is nuts
Am I making a fool of myself?
What the hell, right?
A twisted cyclone
Of dark thoughts and what I want
And all that sucks
And stupid fucks
And missed opportunities
Oh what you do to me
Why don't you set me on fire
Or give me community?
Maybe I don't know what I want
So what? I'm trying.
Maybe I've given all I've got
So what? I'm trying to provide
The things I feel I've missed my whole life
But when I close my eyes
All I see are my guys
And in them I am immortal
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