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Spring Break: I Believe In You!

by Max Uh Million

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mysteriouscynic
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mysteriouscynic its a masterpiece, and the arsonist is rly important to me Favorite track: The Arsonist.
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1.
Coping Mechanism Feelings? I don't know about feelings... Do you mean I've gotta look inside? Brushed hands up against the ceiling Of the inside of my own mind Feelings? I don't know about feelings... Does that mean I've gotta look inside? Thoughts and overwhelming feelings Colliding right behind my eyes Do you want me to sing about who I've become? Just a scared little mess and a son of a gun Cold strapped to my hip every hour of the day Is this what it's like to be normal and okay? Am I okay? Feelings? I don't know about feelings... Do you mean I've gotta look inside? Reeling over all these feelings A tide washed over my tired eyes Do you want me to sing about lacking a father? Or what it was like growing up with my mother? As tired as she was I saw that she kept walking So who I've become doesn't stop 'cause I'm Rocking my heels in the dirt Is it real if it hurts? Do I eat the dessert for the toothache? The love that I claim The violence and pain The friends that I've made along the way The puzzle undone And the sun And the gun And the violence I wrought in the rain There's no sunshine today Just blood and shit in the rain There's no sunshine today
2.
Growing Pains I know that I'm not who I used to be The kid caught catching backpacks Seldom camaraderie But I get stuck in stupid places Corners of my mind will cave in I can't help but fear reality What does it mean? I know my friends all like me And my girlfriend knows I'm trying And just last year I was dying And then coming back from death And I'm back and forth with fig and the band They don't let things get out of hand Stop me when I need to catch my breath Am I a mess? And my van keeps me company When I find it hard to sleep [my van is a boat and my boat is a van] He tells me he'll keep all the secrets That I want him to keep [my van is a boat and my boat is a van]
3.
Total Eclipse I held the sun You worshipped the moon I knew it'd come But it's just too soon I loved the sun Until I met the moon When you are done Say you'll come back to me soon I miss you Every time I see the starlight I think of how it hits your face The warm lovely evening is wrong When you've vanished without a trace I used to be coated in warm yellow light Now I'm lost in your night But I'm cool in the light of your moon Hey babe <3 I know you're working real hard ;) With the elves and your deity and all that garbage I know it sucks to feel at odds with what your faith is And what you are You've seen me struggle on and on and on I've seen you overcome the odds, oh Time and time again I know you're proud of who you are I'm so excited To bury myself in your arms Once I see you again [god, what I wouldn't do to just wrap myself back up in your arms, you wouldn't even believe how much I miss you these days! Literally, everything about you, the way we used to talk, the way we used to walk... I really miss the way you used to touch me-] [ok Kristen, that's enough of that] [Oh! um, okay? I guess we got it then?] [No, keep going! I have an idea.] I MISS YOU uh oh
4.
Family Ties 02:48
Family Ties I fucking hate my mum and dad They tried to kill me and my sister! What the fuck is up with that? [tell me about it] but your mum's just a secretive kisser. Speaking of, what the fuck was up with Fabian and Aelwyn, Am I right? I know- you know I'm not trying to be rude, but come on. Just how is she anyone's type? It's honestly gross, and I don't mean that lightly. I know she's my sister, but she tried to fight me And honestly? Probably kill me too! [gasp] god, maybe that's why I'm so blue? [Hey, can you pass me my meds? Think I'm getting a bit worked up] Hey did I ever tell anyone about the time My dad gave me my focus, I knew he was lying When he told me he wanted me to be great As if I could cast without losing my faith And losing my cool, and finding disgrace My mum was no better, as matter of fact. She never defended, never cut me slack she chose to ignore what she said to my face and here I am left with all their reasons to hate me there's so many reasons to hate me [Adaine, listen- you can't think like that, I mean-] Hey Fig? Look, I know it's a show. Just a couple of assholes who spat on my goals And all that I did at the end of the day Was exist as a child to take out their hate I know in my conscious mind that I am not wrong I've been made perfectly in spite of my mom and my dad And the way that they are But it makes me so sad? Like is that all they are? Do I even need them? No! I've come so damn far.... Do I even need them, if that's all that they are? No, I don't need my mom and dad Fuck. Is that so fucking sad? [Oh, Adaine...] It makes me fuckin mad god, it makes me fuckin mad god, it makes me fuckin sad But I hate my mom and dad oh.
5.
Come Back 01:43
Come Back Faces See these faces all around me And I feel like they're staring But I can't see through their eyes Traces Feel these traces of who I was Who my father wished that he was Who my father wished that I could ever be I don't feel good, I feel like yogurt I don't feel sure, I feel like yogurt I don't feel strong, I feel like yogurt I don't feel pure Wash me clean of everything I used to wanna be Break me free from all these things I feel inside of me Let me be the person who I'd wished I'd wanna be Set me free of this misery I want... I want to be sure I want... I want to be pure I want... I want to be sure
6.
The Arsonist 02:20
The Arsonist I feel a fire in my guts So what? I'm crying. I don't know why I can't shut up So what? I'm trying To deny The way I feel about all of you guys But when I close my eyes Deny, deny, deny Until I die You'd think I'd do it all so well [hold on- why is that?] Since I'm who I am [and who is that?] The motherfucking king of Hell But deep inside I can't deny My heart is open to the thought Of being broken all of my life I feel like I wanna try Be by your side Though I am mortal Though I try I can't deny What I feel deep inside my guts Even if this is nuts Am I making a fool of myself? What the hell, right? A twisted cyclone Of dark thoughts and what I want And all that sucks And stupid fucks And missed opportunities Oh what you do to me Why don't you set me on fire Or give me community? Maybe I don't know what I want So what? I'm trying. Maybe I've given all I've got So what? I'm trying to provide The things I feel I've missed my whole life But when I close my eyes All I see are my guys And in them I am immortal

about

A collection of fan songs for D20's Fantasy High series!!

Concept: during and after the spring break adventure, Fig goes around the gang and gets them all to sing about their feelings. It's just a lot of feelings.

credits

released July 31, 2020

Max Casson - vocals, keyboards, composer, producer
Jim Casson - percussion, engineer, mixer

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Max Uh Million Pelham, Ontario

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